So, in case you were wondering the only good thing that has come out of my life in the last 3 months....I've lost close to 15 pounds. 7 of it I've lost since Saturday since everytime I eat .. I throw up. I'm taking baby steps with the eating now that my tummy is getting better, some fruit, some toast...dry popcorn. But honestly everything just tastes horrible.

I have been running though. I when I say running....I do mean RUNNING. Usually I say that and I've just been walking quickly. Now, I'm running. I have to find a way to get rid of this aggregation. I have to find away to get my mind off the two of them.

I'm still fighting the urge to call him. But I haven't (except for one work related issue). I still want to know how he's doing, and what he's doing, or if he needs anything. I want to hear his voice....and one of those stupid comments he makes to make me laugh and smile. But he's got someone else for all those things now, and I'm trying hard to accept that. I still can't help to think this all happened because I wasn't good enough. I still want him, but we can't have everything we want can we? You know, I wonder if he still reads this thing......

Well, the b-day is a week from tomorrow. Obviously I'm not too thrilled with the idea. Hopefully I'll surround myself with friends and I'll feel better. But, at least this year I already know the bad thing that's going to happen....cause it already has. This year I thought I was actually going to get away with it. I was going to have a birthday without a disaster.....WRONG!

Maybe Heather's right I do need a summer fling.....any prospects? Little help, please?