One little drop....

...can cause a tidal wave!

Now this whole time I haven't told more than a couple of work people about my whole "scenario". In turn out of respect for me they have not said anything to anyone. Well suddenly in the last few days this whole thing has EXPLODED at me.

I already told you what happened yesterday. Well I guess since those two people came to me others have felt they can now too. In the last 7 hours of my day I've had people come up to me and tell me nasty little things I'm not even sure nor do I care if they're true, but I WILL NOT repeat (so don't even ask) about the new girlfriend, I've had MEN tell me what a (and I quote) scumbag they think he is. I've had people tell me they're sorry, but they're glad I'm out of that relationship because I've never looked better. And THAT'S just the tip of the iceberg!

In this whole thing I have NEVER wanted there to be sides. I wanted our break up to turn into a valued friendship with time. I wanted us to maybe be able to get back together down the road so I didn't want to burn any bridges....I still feel the same. It's he who chose the opposite direction. Now because of his own actions, people are siding....and not with him. Trust me, I'm doing just fine....I don't need or want sides. I just need my few good friends to go to when I need it. But it's nice to know your not the only one who thought the situation was more than funked up. I laugh when people feel the need to tell me their dirty little secrets, because I don't care. I laugh because Dayne has created his own revenge for me. I do NOTHING to fuel the fire, I admit, I blog, but only 3 people in this company have the address so I can express myself here.....he on the other hand he throws gasoline. I know Dayne though, and I know he's saying things like ...as long as we have each other and are happy nothing else matters....

....and for a time that's true....until you get bored and the "passion" dies...right?

Does it still hurt...yes, do I still love him....yes. Do I wish the best for him still...of course. But I have to admit in my own mind in my own sick and evil way....it's fun to sit back do and say NOTHING bad about either of them and even defend them at times, but still watch people come to me with their anger towards the two of them.

I think maybe I'm still more bitter than I thought....BUT....life is looking up for me and I'm glad I have some support through all this. Most of the things people are saying are just rolling off my back anyway, like I said, I don't care. The more I hear about it the more it makes me think about it and the more I have him on my mind when truly I'm trying to prevent myself from doing that. I found myself picking up AXE at the store yesterday, cause it was on sale. Wasn't until 4 aisles over I realized what I had done and put it back. He's still there, he still pops into my decision making....I push it out, but I think it's still out of habit. I do find some comfort in the fact that people care...but don't find comfort in the fact they are sticking there noses where it doesn't belong. Hopefully ... 8 months from now, I'll have graduated college, I'll be able to leave this company....and then maybe things will change. Who knows?!

FYI..just for the record.... none of this came from my friends in the warehouse.....