Let it snow??

Right now as I type there is a MAJOR snow storm heading toward Chi-town. See all that white stuff at the bottom of the weather channel doppler? That's SNOW BITCHES!

Times like this I wish I learned how to ski, or snowboard, or still know people who wanted to go tubing or sledding (sans lacerated hips).....why am I the only child at heart?

Damn I HATE the cold, but I'll find some damn snow pants and go do anything once. More than likely I'll fall....I always fall, but I do it while laughing! That's the fun of it. Trying...and trying and trying...what you thought everyone was perfect the first time they did something. HA! I don't think so. I'm sure even Shakespeare's first plays were pretty bunk. Instead I'm doing what I normally do on nights like this.

Don't get me wrong, I love nights like these cause I have an excuse besides, because I want to, to sit down and do these things. First, pop a nice bottle of wine, tonight a nice white, a Riesling. Second, what's better with wine than cheese? NADA I tell you, fresh mozzarella with ground sea salt, fresh ground pepper, a little garlic and fresh basil....mmmmm. Third, can't chill out without some seriously chill music....right now I have a little mix of Ascension, Oakenfold, Marley, Faithless, The Dead, Jamiroqai...and so forth playing. And fourth....me writing like I love to do.

Lately I've been writing a lot in private. When I first started blogging, no one I 'knew' read it. Then a few people I knew but would tell them about what was in my head anyway read it. NOW...well now, co-workers, friends, family, strangers and all have found their way to my blog. Not that I mind too much, I love expressing myself. I just have to take the time to get used to people reacting to me in real life to what I write in cyberspace.

My biggest problem, people are sensitive. I know I'm pretty emotional, but I don't take everything 'personally'. I could never work in my line of business if I did. A lot of people don't know how to take it for face value. I'm venting for cripes sake! This is where I get rid of it so I don't freak out on an innocent bi-stander. If your going to read it, you have to be able to take it in, and leave it here on the net. Think of it as reading my dairy without me knowing. You wouldn't want me to find out would you? Than stop reacting to it.

Words hurt, especially when they're honest...it hurts more when you have a voice along with those words...why? Cause sometimes it makes it more real. I write because it takes it all out of me. It puts it in a new spot, it helps me deal with the anxiety problem that I have. You know me, if I'm not taking care of someone....I'm not happy. Sometimes the person I'm helping gets on my last nerve, I express...deal. Right now, as always....it's taking care of me I have an issue with.

I'm working on it....slowly, I am going to become the person I want to be. Come on with a mom with OCD and a dad with ADD what did you expect :) ... You know me...I wouldn't just hurt anybody on purpose, I'm here for you before I'm here for me. I just need my place, and this is it. Well, here is where I get rid of some of it .. than then there's and all the crazy sex stuff (well when there is any)...that I only tell Liz...but you can just WISH I'd tell you all that.

I just hope you all want to go on this crazy ride with me....I promise...I'll be fun.