I'm totally going to marry it ...

If there was one invention in this century I would have to say takes the prize for best invention EVER it would have to be texting.

I fricken love this shit. Reason I will list below for you so you can more understand my love affair with this wonderful creation of modern technology and will totally explain the wedding invites with 'texting' as the groom.

Without further ado ...

Top Five Reason's I love texting:

Number Five: Really where else can you have ridiculous conversations like the following?

ME: So I'm on a treadmill, iPod blasting in between songs I realize 'I believe in a thing called love' is playing on the gym's stereo. I don't know why but I looked for you.

James Dudas: Yeah, I preform at gyms occasionally. Usually near the treadmills.

Now truth be told, I would have never picked up the phone and called James to tell him that, I was on a treadmill for cripes sake, does James really want to hear my heavy breathing? Nor would I remember that I did it the next time I saw him...but it was such a moron moment for myself I felt James needed to share in my short bus special moment. Truly it was better than my 'dance/running' on the treadmill for the entertainment of others.

Number Four: One of my biggest pet peeves in life is when your talking to someone on the phone, and they are not paying attention to you because they're doing something else. Texting eliminates this problem completely. If you're not busy, respond...if your busy, respond when you have time. Done and done.

Number Three: I HATE the phone. I'm on it ALL day every day the last thing I want to do is talk the mundane to you on the phone. The only person on this planet besides my parents I will sit on the phone with for long periods of time is Nikki. Only cause she's walking home in a bad neighborhood in Chicago. Nothing says "Don't Rape Me" like a girl spouting nonsense on the phone.

Number Two: The hilarious nightmares that are T9 mistakes. Nothing says that's hot like when your phone decides to change words on you. For instance my latest T9 debacle came in the sentence:

"Has a never ending thirst"

Which T9 turned into:

"Has a never ending thrust"

Essentially in the matter of 2 seconds I looked like a spent a hell of a lot of time on my back. For the record....could have been one of the most hilarious things I've ever texted. Well that week anyway.

Number one: I'm pretty much always at work. I work long strange hours on most days so if you want to make plans or get a hold of me. Text. 99.9% of the time I'm not going to answer the phone if you call, I'm probably already on the phone at work. Texting will be the one and only way (besides IM) to get a response from me when I'm at work.

BONUS: How the hell else can you talk about someone who's in the room? I can't tell you how many beautiful text messages I've gotten over time about the whore one of the boys is with, or the plot to murder the bitch with the high pitch giggle with a friend just across the room. Even with that the best of the best is getting little diddys like this one from Kivi at a bar when he was sitting right next to me:

"I just heard the guy in the blue polo say 'I'll do anal, but if I have a rubber left I'll park in the driveway'"

Yes people text's like that is what I literally live for in life.