Things you should never tell or do in front of a women....

Reveal how much your car cost. I'll be honest. I REALLY don't care; it doesn't make you cool to have an expensive car, or if you got a huge deal on in, all I care about is if it's going to get me to dinner without breaking down or am I going to have to push it in my new dress...end of discussion


Clean your gun. Don't laugh, this has ACTUALLY happened to me, MORE than once. Now, I have a huge fear of guns on top if it, I don't care if it's taken apart or put together, it's just going to send me into instant panic attack. Unless you're dating a firearms expert, keep your guns put away.


Polish high school trophies (which you still have displayed). Personally, I'd like to go back into the past when I was skinny and display my Barbizon modeling certificate with pride, but let's start living in the future shall we?


Refer to your mother as your best friend. I love my parents too, but there are just something's you don't discuss with your parents, therefore they are NOT your best friend. They're your parents...there's a difference. If you are discussing last night's sexcapades with your mom, you need help. Get the phone book now and call a therapist.


Rap. STOP!!! PLEASE!! 'Nuff said.


Check out our assistant/roommate/the baby-sitter. I know there are girls out there that are hot, some of them I'll even point out if your lucky. But there in the distance or walking by or on TV, not the girl I work/live/or works for us. It's a little to close to home. Women can get territorial you know. All this makes me think is that your picturing her when we're having sex. Fine if you do it....I just really don't want to think or know about it.


Question our footwear. Only if you seriously WANT to get hurt will you ever question a woman's footwear. Even if we bitch about how much our feet hurt, I picked these beautiful creations to put on my feet because, well, LOOK at them they're fabulous! The only thing you should say about my shoes is, 'Damn, those look amazing!'


Blow-dry your hair. Men who 'manscape' are not manly.. at all. Especially men who 'blow dry'. You look pretty homosexual to tell you the truth and most of the gay men I know wouldn't blow dry. Stop, get a better haircut and STOP!


Tip less than 20 percent. Nothing says 'cheap bastard' like living the waitress/bartender 10%.


Celebrity impressions. I think this goes right along with the 'rapping'. No matter how good you think you are, you're not. We are not laughing with you, we are laughing directly at you and thinking...this man will never see me naked...ever!


Impressions of us. Unless for some reason you really want to get punched in the face, just shake his urge fast. You never know when we might be pre-mestral and actually throw you from a moving vehicle for such shenanigans.


Forget to carry cash. Annoying when you ask me out on a date, but I have to tip the valet, or pay for the parking, or worse... pay for dinner, because you couldn't take the 12 seconds to stop at the ATM and be prepared for the date. I'd rather you be 5 minutes late than look at me and ask for cash.


Flip it, flop it, swing it around, tug on it, adjust it, scratch it, or do anything that will remind us that it's just a goofy appendage and not a mystical source of pleasure and satisfaction. Honestly if you learned any kind of tact or manners growing up you should know better. Don't play with your balls in public. If you what to have 'man day' and you can all scratch your balls, adjust yourselves, and talk about you penis with each other, fine. The only time I want to know or think about your penis, is when it's about to satisfy me. Call me selfish, but it's true.


Wii. No man, no matter how cute, sexy or manly, looks cool playing Wii. You look like a moron, EVERYONE does! For that matter, leave the Guitar Hero at home too. You can't expect me to actually think...man what a rock star I can't wait to get in his pants, or God I've always wanted to do a baseball player/bowler. We're not fooled that easily my friend, really you just look like a moron with a controller/guitar jumping around acting the fool. This will never make woman swoon....unless she's into comic books and the Starship Enterprise.


Spit. Disgusting, nasty, gross, ewww....no matter how you say, it should never be done. I once had a guy try and spit past me, all he successfully did was spit on my feet..., and then I nearly vomited.


Scream—at the dog, at the guy who just stole your parking spot, at the TV. Because, no matter how much it deserves it when we hear you raise your voice, we have an idea of what we're in for. Short temper? You know I have one too, I AM a woman aren't I? Nevertheless, let's face it, no one likes to be yelled at, ever. When you loose it on the dog...or the valet, or the game...it just makes me think your going to talk to me like that. Or put me through wall...either way...it's not good


Talk about former exploits. Ever. I have former sexcapades as well...trust me if you don't want to hear the amazing blow job I gave to my ex; I don't want to hear about the acrobatic sex you had with yours.


Use the words bitch, slut, tramp, or whore, unless referring to another man. As a woman, I'm totally allowed to use these words, and do on a daily basis. You however, are not. Mainly because I'm pretty sure the minute we have a fight or something happens your going to be saying the same thing about me....and right now, while you're trying to sleep with me, I don't want that image.


Tell us you're going to kiss us. (Just get on with it!) There are few, rare, almost non- existent moments when this is sexy, or hot. Life is not the 'Notebook'... it's actually much hotter when you just plant one on us when we least expect it. Live in the moment, don't plot your every more, you might be pleasantly surprised what we're capable of :)