Blah...

I've been feeling pretty blah the last few weeks.

I know, I know....I cut my thumb, then my niece went into the hospital with some mystery illness ... then the dreaded stealing of my identity. I mean really who would feel great after all that?

But honestly, I've felt worse than normal. I don't 'share' very well unless I'm playing Doogie Hoser and typing away in my "journal". I tend to smile and laugh, make jokes, tell people I'm fine, when in reality inside I'm screaming bloody murder. I cry in private and smile in public, it's a vicious cycle.

I found comfort in food again, not smart I know, but it was better than the alternative of climbing to the roof of my building and jumping off. Any progress I made with boot camp has faded. Which again, does not make me feel great. But, I making an effort in other ways. I won't go into detail, but change will be good.

I have decided to turn this negative into the most postive thing I can. I'm going out of town for the long weekend, a nice relaxing weekend in Chippewa at my house in Wisconsin. I'm going to be lazy and make my parents take me to the movies to see Indiana Jones (because I'm a ten year old boy apparently). When I get home..that's where the project to change begins.

Part of it I've already began and I'll tell you about later, but know I'm definatly trying to buck up and get on the right 'train' for once. Deep breath and wish me luck! Till then I hope to bring you some more 'fun' writings :)