You know there are some people in my life I'm damn thankful are there. Although some of my friends are young, they are still smart beyond there years at times. And some of them are older and still large children and that's a trait I resemble myself. Sometimes they take me back a bit by saying things I just wouldn't expect but are truly nice and sweet. (That's right Kivi I'm talkin' about you)

But sometimes, I just don't understand my friends. Don't get me wrong I'd pretty much do anything (besides kill a man, sleep with farm animals, or....well there is actually A LOT I wouldn't do....) for my friends and I'd like to think they'd do the same for me. If they don't feel what I was doing was right, they'd tell me, or if they were hurt by something I said/did, they'd tell me. That's what being a friend is. Being able to tell someone they're a F@#* up and knowing that all and all your going to be friends in the long run. It's also about supporting your friends even if they aren't doing exactly what you would have expected them to.

It is NOT however about giving someone the funked up silent treatment! If your my friend YELL AT ME! I make mistakes in my life and they are MINE to make. Right now I'm the happiest I have ever been in my entire life. I'm in love with a wonderful man who loves me more than I could ever have imagined. I know he's married, I'm the one who has to deal with that on a daily basis. If it was a typical marriage situation I would feel horrible, but it's not so I only feel somewhat horrible. I battle my own demons everyday....I don't need my friends suddenly not speaking to me with no explanation as to why. I know your upset, but would you rather have me lie about it?! I value each and every one of my friends like part of my family, when they treat me like trash to be discarded, it makes me feel as though they never even cared in the first place.

I've been around the block quite a few times I've had a lot of people who claimed to be my friends walk out of my life without a second thought, so I'm not about to beg for you to be my friend, but I wanted you to know I have had some of the best times I've ever had with you. I'd like to keep you as part of my life, but if you can't accept me into your life anymore, I understand too. This isn't how I planned things, it's just the way the cards were dealt........

Ok, Ok, Kivi....the part you've been waiting for....your advice.
I know Steve, I love Steve, you two are my comedic relief with your completely opposite personalities....yet your so alike...funny how that happens. I know that not much bothers Steve, he's one of the most patient people I know, I suppose you have to be when your the worlds slowest eater. So here the thing, it doesn't seem as though Steve and this girl dated for long but still there's probably some uncomfortablness there. One, your right you have no wheels, you would have to depend on others for a ride...so until you get your license back your kinda stuck. Two, can you really enter into a relationship with someone who doesn't like your best friend...yes, but will it work out....no, even if it does for a period of time there's always that feeling of being pulled in two different directions....one by your friend of forever, and the other by the girl your trying to date.

My thinking is since I know you is that maybe your starting to like this gal cause she's a cool chick to hang with and now you 'think' you have feelings towards the relationship standings since your (no offence) desperate for affection. Trust me I've been there. Tried to push a relationship with someone I thought was "perfect" for me and we would make a good couple....when really we just made good friends. I think you need to sit back and REALLY think about the whole thing. Right now I think you need to straighten out a few priorities in your life before you try and enter into a relationship anyway. I.E. looking further into getting your license back, paying off the psycho ex-roomies dad, you just started a new job you love...so let's try and get hired from temp status, and even looking into taking some classes Mr. College Drop out. Trust me when your the happiest with yourself, is when things just seem to oddly fall into place. That's what happened to me....granted making life difficult now, but trust me.

I love you Kivi (and Stevie too), but I think your at a part in time with your lives your just now discovering yourselves. Trust me I was there it's a weird age, trying to be an adult and a kid at the same time ain't easy (just ask Dayne.)....but romance isn't something you NEED in your life, it's something you want (who wouldn't) but being alone isn't bad at all either. You both have some great friends, wonderful families, and ME :) ok I was tooting my own horn....but seriously...having a relationship isn't easy...AT ALL...and in order to enter into one I think you really need to work on you first. Be happy being single work on your future a little. Not that you have to figure it all out in the next year, but think about it, is bringing a gal into your life right now really fair when you have so much extra baggage on your hands?

Ok, this is like the longest post ever! And I'm sure it's going to cause problems for me some where....but regardless....I always speak my mind, and hell that's what my blog is for. To a certain someone I'm sure is reading this with Kivi in the warehouse. I love you and don't you forget it!

Till next time!......