Relationships .. Part Deux

So along the line of relationships I've been thinking a lot about about my single status as well. I don't mind being single....really I don't. I've been single more than I've been a couple in my lifetime. And lets just say the couples I've been ... not very great either. I've dated everyone from the junkie, the abuser, the user, to the LARGE child, but it's given me experience to know what I'm ACTUALLY looking for.

I have a tendency to go for the underdog, or the unavailable....I fall hard when I do fall, and I want to take care of the person I'm with in every way possible. Hard thing is, I want to be taken care of too. I want there to be give and take, without me doing ALL the giving and them doing all the taking. I want someone who can talk to me ... and be honest from the beginning. I don't want to find out you hate something I do 3 months into a relationship, I want to know up front what you want, what you like, what your looking for. I end up being the ultimate best friend, good buddy, great secret lover ... It's old.

I want to feel it when someone tells me they love me as much as I HEAR it. It can only go so far when you say it too often without showing it. I want to feel secure with you as much as I want to have FUN and get crazy at times. I want you to think of me as much as I think of you. I love the little things in life, I want to enjoy them with someone else. Someday....someday...
I've had a poem framed in my room since the first guy I thought I 'loved' broke my heart. Not one person has noticed it in 11 years....maybe if they did I wouldn't be here now.


Near You Always ... Jewel
Please don't say I love you, those words touch me much to deeply.

I don't think you realize that power you have over me.

And please don't come so close, it just makes me want to make you near me always.

Please don't kiss me so sweet, it just makes me crave a thousand kisses to follow

And please don't touch me like that, it makes every other seem pale and shallow

And please don't look at me like that, it just makes me want you near me always.

Please don't send me flowers, they only whisper the sweet things you'd say

Don't try and understand me, your hands already know too much anyway.

It just makes me want to make you near me always.

And when you look in my eyes, please know my heart is in your hands.

It's nothing that I understand, but when I'm in your arms, you have complete power over me.

So be gentle if you please, your hands are in my hair, but my heart is in your teeth

And it just makes me want to make you near me always,

I want to be near you always.

.....if you get it people, you get it deeply....if you don't, well, you've never really loved someone with your whole heart to have them walk away.