Funny how things change so much in a year. Last year I posted this on a friends website on December 3 2003. This year I'm very much in love with a guy I never thought I'd even date (considering he was married) Never know what your going to run into in life. So I thought I'd share:

I’m calling my turn on this subject just to vent some of my frustrations. While I’m new to this site and all I feel as though after reading some of the posts I just feel the need to vent too. First of all thank you for saying not all women suck I as a women know that some of them do, in which I will return not all men suck, but I know I’ve sure dated some that do.

I have discovered as time goes by men are threatened by the fact that I’m independent. I was always under the impression that this was a good thing, but the older I get the more I find that it’s not if you want a relationship. I work two jobs cause I HAVE to not cause I want to. Trust me I’d rather go home after a long day at the office rather than go wait tables for another 4 or 5 hours, but in order to support myself at this time, it requires me to work that other job. I know that my significant other (if I could snag one for more than 2 weeks) would rather see me more often, and if he would give more than 2 hours notice, I could make plans to get the day/night off to see you. Calling me 2 hours before I’m supposed to be there telling me to call in sick isn’t responsible and not my style. Let’s not forget that I depend on that money to survive and there is no way in hell I would let you pay my rent/car payment/etc that’s the stubbornness of being independent.

Another dilemma has been the quality of men that I meet, somewhat along the lines of what the SWG is going through. I’m not sure when it became common for people to marry before they call legally get into a bar, but somehow every eligible guy seems to be. Now at the age of 25 I’m meeting men that are either one cheating on there wives, two, out for sex, or three out for arm candy. Let me break it down for you fellas, I’m not interested in being the ‘other women’ no matter how good you tell me you can treat me. I was also raised with these nagging things called morals so sorry there will be no sex on the first date, or the second, or the third for that matter. We’ll have sex when I feel I’ve gotten to know you well enough to exchange in that intimate encounter, not when you’ve bought me dinner. Speaking of which, when did it become a requirement for me to have to sleep with you because you bought dinner? Does that mean when I buy dinner your required to rub my feet after a hard day of waitressing? Or clean my apartment, cause I could really use that! And these older guys (no offense to anyone) seem to think I’m there to look good and be quiet. Well, unfortunately I’m Italian and Irish, there’s one thing I don’t know how to be is quiet. I like expressing my opinions. Where are the guys I can sit and have a few drinks and have an intelligent conversation with expressing my opinions while you express yours without demeaning one others views. Come on people, they are called OPINONS not FACTS.

I’d also like to quickly clear this up for those of you who seem to be confused. My name for the record is Dawn, not ‘Just Dawn’. My parents did not name me ‘Just’ so therefore I’d like to stop being referred to as if that was my first name. Just because I can be comfortable with a bunch of guys does not mean I am one of them. I grew up with 6 brothers, OF COURSE I’m comfortable around guys and know a little more about how guys think, that doesn’t mean I’m still not a women. I can’t remember the last time a guy I knew didn’t say something along the lines of “It’s ok, it’s just Dawn.” I’m aware that it’s a sort of compliment, but sometimes it doesn’t feel that way. I’m a little sick of being the chick everyone wants to hang with, but too much like a sister/buddy to date.

Just for the record SWG I sympathize, the winter/holiday months are approaching rather quickly and I have no one to snuggle up to either while at the same time I have to go to every family function and answer yet again why I’m not married or in a relationship with someone. I’m starting to think it might be easier to tell them I’m gay that it is for me to explain how I can’t tolerate to be in a room with a guy for more than an hour before stupidity runs from his mouth or he’s trying to put his hand up my shirt. **Sigh** Doomed…. I guess it’s not SO bad to be alone (except when your roommate is planning her wedding then it’s kind of annoying) but it’s always nicer to have someone to call or come home to. I just keep telling myself it could be worse, I could’ve settled!