What works for you....

I hate to say it, but this day and age everyone believes they're way is the right way. I've got news for you, what works for you may not work for everyone.

I've run into a lot of people lately trying to give me a lot of unsolicited advice. It's kind of annoying. People all make mistakes, some of us make more....but those mistake are what make us the people we are today. I know for sure I'm not very good at the 'personal decision making' as of late, but unless I ASK for your advice, please ... keep it to yourself.

I find it kinda cute and hilarious that the people giving me the advice are people who have either: 1, come from a family with more money than the Hiltons 2, never had a REAL problem in their lives 3, are complete hypocrites with their own advice or my favorite 4, just plain searching for my gossip to make themselves feel better about their pathetic lives. Note to number four, I can actually SEE you when you're rolling your eyes.

We all have problems people, the best growing experiences for all of us is digging through the trenches to get ourselves out of them. We get a little wiser, we grow up a little more, and it makes us look forward to what the future might bring.

The world has been more than trying my patience this year; as far as I know it really can't get any harder unless I'm living out of my car. Frankly I know too many people for that to actually happen. I'm looking forward to the new start; by the end of 2008 maybe I'll have a lot more figured out.

So that being said, here's my toast to the new year....

Here's to turning 30 in less than 3 months! May my 30th year be the start of something wonderful.

Here's to my family (including my friends which are the family I choose) for listening, loving, and understanding that sometimes I need to fall on my face HARD to be able to find the stubbornness inside myself to keep going.

Here's to those people who give me the unsolicited advice, may you find your advice to me more helpful to yourself, since I choose not to give up on myself.

Here's to you, yes you. You've been through your own difficulties this year, congrats for making it through them, in one piece on both feet, trucking along like the trooper you are.

Here's to me, for discovering ... me.

Good riddens 2007 ... Bring it on 2008, I think this year, I just might win.

Posted elsewhere, moving here...Happy Holidays

I'm not even sure who's going to take the time to click here...it's such a generic headline, but I'm a little bored at work so I thought I'd spill a little....

The holiday season is upon us yet again ladies and gentleman, and I use those terms loosely knowing who's on myspace . It seems like only yesterday I was frantically getting myself together to do a million and a half things in just a few days, see friends, drive to the families house, white trash bar hop and drive to go to Eric and Jen's wedding in St. Louis. Has it ALREADY been a year? Is that possible?! But yes my dears it has.

This year is a little quieter for me. The family is going up to our vacation home; I'm unable to get off work to join them. My roomie is going to Vegas to visit her Dad, so this year, it's just Dawn. (and not in the nickname sense either).

I'm slightly looking forward to a little quiet time. This year has been rough for me. I've done a lot of soul searching, made some major decisions and came to some conclusions in my life, for me this was a LONG time overdue. I keep saying I'm doing it, but don't...or put it off. This time...I took the steps.

Over the last year I really settled into myself emotionally. I'm more 'centered' emotionally than I ever have been in my life. I finally have a grasp as to what I want to accomplish both professionally, romantically, and personally. I know ME better than I ever have in my life. Granted, I'm not real HAPPY with me, but I know me. Anyone who has ever hit his spot in their lives knows what I'm talking about.

I am flawed....majorly and unforgivably flawed. I pick the wrong men to get into relationships with, and I let the potential 'right' one's slip through my fingers. I over eat when I'm bored...what I love to cook. I overextend myself....mainly paying for others, I love to treat people...instead of myself. I'm horrible at calling people back and 'keeping in touch' .. I'm working on it, slowly. I can't seem to 'open' myself up to the people I should, I keep it bottled up inside, or I just cry at night...why? Well in fear of that feeling of failure, I've never been one to ask for help even when I need it and even though I know I could.

Funny, the more you can sit down and name your flaws, the more you’re 'ok' with them. It's like fear, once you've looked it, faced it, it's not a fear anymore. Well, for me it was LONG overdue. I'm 29, not 18...but some of us fall harder than others don't we? By no means am I a giant fuck up...I'm just me...flaws and all and hell ... I kinda like me. If you don't...bounce :)

So, how did I get here you ask? It's a lot less complicated than you think. I evaluated what I didn't like and I changed it. I hated how badly my job treated me, I left. I didn't like the way some 'friends' were treating me, I cut them out of my life. I don't like my financial situation; I took the steps towards freedom. I don't like sitting in the back seat watching people get walked on; I started speaking up....more anyway. There are some things I can't control....dating for example. I can't make the perfect guy fall in my lap, but I sure can try to stop 'falling' for the wrong ones.

I'm content with being single, never actually really bothered me. I'm not incomplete when I don't have a boyfriend; I'm more of myself without one. Would I LIKE to get married and have kids someday....maybe. If it's not in the 'plan' for me will I be devastated and feel empty? No. The two men I always told I was going to just marry someday and get it over with, well they are both happily married now, and I'm THRILLED for them. The one guy I can look back and say I should've given a chance and I could possibly BE married now, well, I was a mean selfish bitch to that someone. Years later, I apologized, but sometimes it's a 'too little too late' kind of situation. If I wouldn't have been such a stubborn ass, maybe I'd be in a different spot in my life. I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason though. Que Sera Sera right?

Needless to say, I'm SO ready to KICK THE HELL out of 2007 and welcome 2008. With this new 'perspective' and positive out look, I should be heading in a really fantastic direction, and I have some wonderful people to join me....I heart my friends and family.

So, to all of you out there. Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Merry/Happy Kwanzaa...Season's Greetings, Happy Holidays....and all that fun stuff. I wish you all the best for your lives and the up coming year, may it be insightful and expiring to you and the people in your life. Remember, no one is perfect, embrace your flaws and go with it....we're all going to die someday and it's better if we do it happy and with our hearts full of love.

Love you all....see you in 2008 (If not before)

I just realized

I have stupid expensive taste.

I've been wanting a right hand ring for my 30th, I figure if I'm not going to get diamonds from a man, I might as well buy them myself. I've been looking for a while. Of course...it always comes back to Tiffany's style.....these are the three I love. If I could find imitations that were REAL silver, white gold, or better yet platinum, I'd get them....

Keep your eyes peeled for me.

I feel better

I already reported them to the Department of Labor AND the BBB. But writing this on Ripoff Report.com made me feel so much better. Sad part, it's not even the HALF of it.

Where to begin. I worked for TaylorMade Promotionz, which is in the same office as PPI, or Powerhoutz. I have never been so angry to accept a job in my life!

It wasn't the lying on the phone or physical interview, it wasn't the 10 people in the same office to interview for the same job, it was the FALSE promises they made me just to say yes to the job in the first place. I actually GAVE UP another good job opportunity to go to TMP/PPI. I liked the high energy, the unusual office environment and the girl I interviewed with and I had a lot in common. First thing I said to her when we discussed me taking the job was...if this is a pyramid scam, I'm going to kill you. She assured me it wasn't.

Other things I was assured? That this was NOT commission. (it is...FULLY & you split it with the other person your on site with) that there would be insurance provided (there is NO insurance, they give a line about all the paper work that is to be filled out, but never ACTUALLY give you the paperwork) my fellow co-worker was even told that insurance was free, paid for by TMP. Another lie. There would be reimbursement for expenses, by that they mean, file it on your taxes at the end of the year as a business expense.

In 6 weeks I was sent to so many places they claimed to have 'events' set up in and when we got there they had NO clue as to who we were nor did they know we were going to be selling anything. Real professional. Oh, did I mention the illegal act of 'parking lot' pitching they would encourage you to do DAILY. I don't know how many times I had to 'talk' my way out of being arrested.

Between bad directions, information, shotty merchandise, and poor explanation your expectations...I was left several GRAND in debt. Yes, I did say grand. Between using my credit cards to pay for gas (filling up 2 to 3 times WEEKLY), food (I worked from 730am to 730 to 9pm), merchandise my leader convinced me to buy and get rid of later (don't get me started) I had to use them to pay my rent, phone bill, electric bill, and everything else that was due because I made a whole $500 that MONTH and just barely.

If that wasn't bad enough I you are talked to like a 3 year old in the office daily. Thanks, I don't need a 20 year old telling me how 'bad' the corporate world is...he's never been in it! I have news for them...'I've got goals' and they may not be as 'Juicy' as you think your life with Quantum or Innovage will be, but they are realistic. I laugh at 'Billy Houtz' re-buttle to these posts.

Billy, why don't you explain how 'believing' in this business cost you custody of you CHILD. I don't know anything that would be more important than my own flesh and blood. I almost lost a relationship with my own family because of this job. I not only couldn't talk to them, but trying to explain what I did and why I kept having to borrow money?! Oh wow, not good.

Worst thing is...the only reason I left, one I was getting a real impression that they weren't giving the CPEA as much as they said they were, was because I got ill....REALLY ILL. Did anyone care to give me a call and check on me? Yeah right. I actually ended up going to the hospital, well there's more debt for you.

Stay away, stay FAR away. It was a lot of speed talking, empty promises and people who really know how to make you feel like a giant piece of ...well you know. Funny, I was told I was the protégé of the place too...imagine what you would be treated like if you weren't! I believe you could probably go far in this company IF you were the Katie Taylor/Larissa Hawley's of this world that came from very rich families that could support you while you were trying to 'build your business'. As far as I know, I, nor anyone else at TMP/PPI could actually live off the paychecks, why do you think most of the people at PPI live in the same place called, 'Peddlers Pad'. Think twice before you get caught up.

Everyday N and I ask ourselves....WHAT WERE WE THINKING!!

Strange?!

Strange text of the day:

Nicole: There is a gay man on project runway that talks like us

Me: Does that mean we're gay or we spend too much time with gay men?

Nicole: The latter

Me: Yeah now we have someone to blame it on!

Strange text of the day Sunday December 2 2007

Me: to Nicole: So I was thinking, if that was 'Return to Fat Camp' how do we get to see the original? P.S. Where's my cake?

Nicole: Listen Fatty McFat Fat I don't think you need any cake