Down and out....

I know I've been using this blog for my weight loss as of late, and speaking of I've been to the gym everyday this week thank you, but today I'm down and out...and I thought I'd use my blog for it's intended purpose for the first time in a while.

Today is my ex's birthday. Why does that depress me you ask? Well, it's complicated.

First, I still love him, I'm not by any means IN love with him anymore, but I do still deeply care for the prick.

Second, I would love to send him a message letting him know I remembered and to give him birthday wishes. I know if I do this 1. he will not appreciate them in the slightest and just look at it as me pining for him and 2. he could care less if I remembered or not 3. he'll use it as an excuse to tell people I still want him.

Third, I have fond memories of the time we were together and spent his birthday together. Mind you, it was YEARS ago now, but it was fond none the less and I miss those care free times.

Fourth, basically, I'm a loser. Yep I said it, I am. It sucks how abusive relationships still years later have an effect on how you feel. Sadly, this one does.

That being said, and it being the anniversary of Elvis' death, I'm in a funk. Hopefully by the weekend, and Alex's birthday....things will be looking up for me.