Memories....

In the last two and a half weeks I have found some of the worlds greatest treasures.

Old friends.

There are many people whom you look back on life and have a memory or two you’ve shared and were able to smile about. Some memories will make you even laugh out loud, but there are very few people you can look back on life an have a memory you can feel in your heart. The kind of memories that bring a tear to your eye and a smile to your face the same time.

I have very selective memories from my childhood and teenage years. To be perfectly honest…not many of them are all that great. For whatever reason my mind tends to remember the bad before the good. Then again in this day in age either you grew up in a dysfunctional home or an overly spoiled one.


I have never been ungrateful for what I have. There are people that are quite a bit less fortunate than I am. I had 2 parents, who were still married, a rarity in this day. A roof over my head, and clothes on my back. All though not the most fashionable of clothes, they were clothes and I was grateful. Hell, I was even feed three meals a day; that’s nothing to knock, in my hometown; that can be very rare.

But, in the last two weeks I have just had a FLOOD of good memories come back to me.

I went to my reunion. 10 years it’s been since I’ve seen most of these people. Some of them I could have gone 10 more, others I wish I wouldn’t have lost touch with as much as I did.

Jeff, what a great soul. I don’t have a single bad memory for this guy. He’s a fantastically talented musician, has the ability to challenge you opinion without demeaning it. Funnier than you would ever expect. I could sit with this kid for hours….and I have. He has such a great mind and is going to do great things with his life.

Chris, probably one of the funniest people I’ve ever known. This kid I’ve actually known since GRADE SCHOOL too. I hung out at his Dad’s restaurant when I was a kid, eating fries and drinking Glen Rock soda. I’ve even seen this kid snort sugar. He’s moved away to California to start a career. Moving away that far away from Zompton is a huge feat so my hats are off to him. Chris’ future will be bright due to his positive outlook on everything I wish him the best and hopefully we’ll see each other again before the 20th reunion.

Nikki, the kindest hearted woman I’ve ever known. Granted I’ve seen and spoke with NikMo a few times since graduation, but that night we really got to be together again. Just like old times we sat back and laughed on old memories, cried and some harsh realities, and caught up for the first time in 10 years. I got to see her Mom for the first time in forever, and just her house brought back memories I thought were gone a long time ago. She was always a wonderful friend and her family was like my own. I hate the fact I missed so many big moments in her life. Her graduation from college, her engagement, and even her marriage. But, we can’t take back the past, and I am confident we will have more memories to come, and personally I can’t wait to see what our future holds.

After few days after my reunion I was cursing MySpace when I got a message from and old friend Alex. I haven’t seen him for nearly 4 years and here he was sending me an email wanting to meet up. The next day, I went to the bar he works at and sat with James, an equally old friend. It was so surreal to realize I spent quite a few years hanging out with these guys creating the craziest of memories….like falling asleep with your arm around a pizza.

We were young and drunk most of the time, but even though we stuck by each other through good and bad. Alex even drove me into Wisconsin and WALKED home from my house when I was intoxicated one night. I missed them, especially Alex. We worked together at one time and had good time doing it too. Besides he can make me feel like the most beautiful person in the world when I look my worst. That’s a good friend. I’m hoping we continue our friendship for a long, long time. No more 10 years between visits.

Oddly enough that Saturday I went out with a few friends from work….and whom should work at the bar I went too? Jimmy, another old friend. He took care of me in many hours of need and always gave me a place to lay my head when I was too tired (or drunk) to drive home. He’s even made me dinner before work. I love this man, he’s the reason I met people like Alex and James. I’m truly grateful to all of his warmth and friendship through all these years.

The best was yet to come of course. Monday Alan came home for a visit. Alan and I met when I proceeded to insult him in front of his buddies….a couple nights later he bought me so many shots from across the bar I was toast. We’ve been friends ever since. I was Alan’s official ‘function girl’ for many years. One summer my Mom even swore I’d been to every wedding in Lake and Cook County. Alan could make me laugh on queue and yet would sit and listen to my every word when I had a problem. He’d hug me when I was down, he’d party with me when I was up. We took each other through a rough time in our lives….all while freezing without a sweatshirt. (Inside Joke) Now that I’ve found this kid again, I’m hoping even if he is Texas, we can be continue to be close.

I hope all of these people know, as well as my good friends I do see on a regular basis, that I will ALWAYS be here if they need me. I may not party every night, I may not always be seen….but I’ll be there at 3am when you need a listening ear, or a sober ride home.

You all have grown in so many ways, as well as I. I’m excited to see what all our futures will bring. Through good and bad, thick and thin….these are, and hopefully will be, the people I’d like to spend it with. I love you all.

Sheryl CrowAlways on Your Side

My yesterdays are all boxed up and neatly put away
But every now and then you come to mind
Cause you were always waiting to be picked to play the game
But when your name was called, you found a place to hide
When you knew that I was always on your side

Well everything was easy then, so sweet and innocent
But your demons and your angels reappeared
Leavin' all the traces of the man you thought you'd be
Leavin' me with no place left to go from here
Leavin' me so many questions all these years

But is there someplace far away, someplace where all is clear
Easy to start over with the ones you hold so dear
Or are you left to wonder, all alone, eternally
This isn't how it's really meant to be
No it isn't how it's really meant to be

Well they say that love is in the air, but never is it clear,
How to pull it close and make it stay
Butterflies are free to fly, and so they fly away
And I'm left to carry on and wonder why
Even through it all, I'm always on your side

But is there someplace far away, someplace where all is clear
Easy to start over with the ones you hold so dear
Or are we left to wonder, all alone, eternally
But is this how it's really meant to be
No is it how it's really meant to be

Well if they say that love is in the air, never is it clear
How to pull it close and make it stay
If butterflies are free to fly, why do they fly away
Leavin' me to carry on and wonder why
Was it you that kept me wondering through this life
When you know that I was always on your side

MIA

Yes, I know I've been missing in action.

Like I said before I was trying to find myself. Still looking to tell you the truth.

I'm sleeping again, with the aid of medication. It's a good thing and it's helping a little. Sometimes I feel like I'm missing most of my day wasting it on things like 'sleep'. Honestly, I used to have twice as much day. Now I have sleep. My body craves to sleep now all day, but of course with my hours, that's impossible.

The anxiety meds...well, I'm giving the some more time. So far, well I don't really feel better or worse. Just lethargic. But things like that take time to work so I'm going to give it some more time before I just give up on it.

On a happier note, my sister Meredith, and her husband Mike, and their new baby Logan were in town this week. Logan is the CUTEST thing ever, ok I'm biased but really he is. My family got to see him crawl for the first time this week which just make the trip out here so much better. It's nice to share such a moment with family.

Yesterday was my brother and my dad's birthday. Happy Birthday Rich and Pops. I hope it was a good one, even if it was on a Monday... :)

And finally, my high school reunion is this weekend. TFK is going to be my DD for the night. My best friend from high school, Nikki, and I are going together. TFK insists on wearing a button that says I was born in 1983 just for the humor factor. Yeah, whatever Kivi.....don't be jealous.

I'll fill you in on the details after this weekend.

....well, maybe I will.....