Ch..ch..Changes...

I thought I'd share a little MySpace with you all...

Ok, so I switched up my top former 12 now 16 just to make some changes....

Shall I explain? Sure why not? Remember it's in order or how long I've known you not how much I love you or you'd all be #1 ....ok I'm going to hurl from that line....here we go:

Mer: Our should I say Mer, Mike and Logan since you can't go on ther without seeing how much she loves her family. She's my half brother's half sister. So in our dyfunctional world...That's family!

B: Even more fun, she's my half brother's half sister's half sister. Yeah I know you need a map, try being one of us trying to explain it. But again, it's family beeatch! Recognize!

Rich: This one's a little easier, Rich is my half brother. We have the same dad. I so love the fact that we've gotten to know each other after so many years passing that of COURSE he would be in my top 3. Blood runs thicker than water as they say. Besides, we both inherited this really cool ability to jump up on the soap box and go to town. I love ya bro.

Nikki: Known her so long she might as well be my sister. I got the cops called on me in like 2nd grade cause I was at her house playing when I should've been home...whoops..and the memories continue from there. I will always have a place in my heart for the Moore family! (her sister Becca is on my friends list too....)

Moss: AKA the very first 'roomie' I ever had. We ate mac n cheese everyday, dated guys who were best friends, and even started smoking around the same time...two peas, meet pod. We had some **cough,cough** rough times, but I believe that's cause we were young...and stupid :) You're my wonderwall too C.

Jimmy: I've know him what seems like forever. Back in the day I was just a kid working for the teen dance club, he was the bartender at the local hot spot. We worked for the same entertainment company, saw each other here and there...years later, we found each other crossing paths again. We're still good friends. I so LOVE this man.

Eric: What more is there to say, he's a work all his own. My very best guy friend and the love of my life. (not that kind of love) We shared some pretty great moments in life. From the great, to the stupid, to the what the...and even bad ones too. No matter what I could call this guy out of the blue and he'd be there for me. I'm so excited he found someone to share his life with! I can't wait to meet her!

Jen: Ok, so I know this is in order of me meeting the people on my list, and 'technically' I haven't met Jen yet, but she's marrying my best friend....she get a spot, and the spot right next to her future husband for that matter. Pound sand if you don't like it.

Jon Doe: AKA....Alan. The loudest craziest kid I know. I was his 'function girl' for years. I needed this kid exactly the moment he came into my life, he made me strong in the moments I needed it, and I like to think I did the same for him. You can meet the strangest yet greatest people when you proceed to call them a child molester in a crowded bar can't ya?

ICE: AKA....Alex. There is no truer friend than this guy. If I could get one of his famous hugs everyday, I don't think I could ever be unhappy again. He's the most passionate man I've ever met and for this I love him. Remember Alex, we promised 10 more years and if were still single....we're getting married :)

Moe: AKA....James. His laugh puts a smile on my face. You can't help it! His humor and heart make you just want to be his friend for life. There's nothing in the world I wouldn't do for James and Alex. Hopefully they already know that.

TFK: Who doesn't love 'The Fat Kid'? How could you not? From competative 'Scene It', to his fainting spells, to Bennigans memories, to even him constantly making jokes about doing me in the pooper. I love the fact that he can watch the worlds stupidest movies with me and LIKE them. He's my favorite kid! He's watched me laugh and cry....and he still keeps coming back for more :)

Luke: Well honestly who COULDN'T love my favorite dry storage partner? So many Bennigans nights, so many great memories. Or who could forget our night out at Red Star when the waiter blew up that glass....the night only got better from that moment on!

Katie: How to explain Katie? I met this chick when basically I insulted her...and she still kept coming back for more :) We share the same ex-psycho in our lives so we bonded. Come on...what other 2 girls in life would you want making you hot chocolate and running for pizza?

Mia: The Korean Sex Machine....or so I hear?!? :) I love this chick. We met when I worked at Half Day forever ago, and became friends in the last year or so when I met up with her again. This girl has a huge heart that gets walked on as much as mine does. We have the same guy friends so you know we both have GREAT taste! The best is yet to come I'm sure :)

Last but not least:
Grill 21: My regular hangout. How could you not like a place where 2 of my top 16 work at, not to mention the numerous others from my friends list that work and hang there with me. You wanna see most of MySpace on Friday night....we're at the Grill :)

TA DA...and if your curious...click on the on the link to your left that says MySpace not your space and you'll find ME! :)

MySpace rant....

Stop, just STOP!

Seriously, who ARE these people?

You all know exactly who I'm talking about. The random people that email you on MySpace with fabulous lines like....

"You're beautiful, wanna chat? Love ya...."

Really you love me? You don't even KNOW me?

"I'd love to hit it sometime if you interested."

What in the HELL would make you think I'm interested? Is it my profile pic? Just to let you know, that's ART people by a pretty famous artist...Bounce!

"I hope you life is exciting, if not hit me up"

Are you kidding? Pound sand loser....

"U B one slammin' bitch, we should hook up"

Yes, these are ACTUAL quotes people. Why are you emailing me in text by the way? Those extra letters too hard to type? If you can't hold a conversation without using an extreme amount of slang, that includes everything from hillbilly to hip-hop....I'm not interested.

Just FYI if you have a monster truck on your page, are posing with a shirt with the sleeves ripped off, have a gay ass screen name like 'Domino' or 'The Man' or have a quote like, 'I'll make you scream' or '#1 Ladiesman' and I don't know you to know it's a joke, believe me I'm not going to email you back.

Just to mention it while I'm on the subject, stop requesting to be my friend if I don't know you. I don't just 'randomly' accept friends. You're NOT a 'friend' if I don't know you....stop asking. If you WANT to be my friend, send me an intelligent email that does not ask me to AIM you, or give me your phone number on the first email and MAYBE just MAYBE I won't think your a total freak.

Alright, I'm done.....

....and to that 'someone I've never met before' and you know who you are, stop asking about anal sex....you never stood a chance.

Wow....

WHAT THE?! Yeah, that's what I said! It's all explained below:


What a week. Let's just say it was definatley a 'trip'.

I had a really, really crappy week at work and decided to cure it with alcohol on Friday. Getting myself in to trouble as usual. Note to self: Don't pound alcohol if you haven't eaten all day.

Saturday I nursed a minor hangover and decided it would be best of I stayed IN the house since I already caused enough trouble :)

Sunday, got up early and went to the gym. As I was leaving the gym I got a text from Liz, her Grandfather passed. From knowing Liz I'm sure that her Grandfather was a great man with a beautiful soul. I wish her whole family my deepest sympathies.

Today I found a picture on MySpace of my best friend Eric proposing to his girlfriend. That's what the picture is above, DON'T FREAK :). I'm totally shocked since I haven't even met her yet. But I'm SO happy for him. He deserves the best, and from what I've heard from him ... she's the best. I'm excited to actually hear from him now....AND I'D BETTER! :) CONGRATS!!!



Anyway, just catching you all up on the life....

Just a little somethin' somethin'

I think I listened to this song about 9 times today....I seem to be relating to it a lot lately. That and as always 'Someone' by Ascension .... I'll always love that song.....it's so me.

Believe it or not I'm not really feeling 'lonely' just aggravated with the opposite (as well as my own) sex. I just want some peace and contentment in my life right now. Well that and for me to feel better since I've been sick for so long. I'm destend for it! Aren't I? I've had more bad luck than any one person should.

Fresno

Toca's Miracle

If you're gonna save the day
And you're hearin' what I say
I feel your touch your kiss, it's not enough
And if you believe in me
Don't think my love's not for real
I won't take nothin' less then a deeper love

[Chorus:]

Let me tell you
You, no I, I need a miracle
I need a miracle
Its more physical than
What I need to feel from you

Tell me that you understand
And you'll take me as I am
You'll always be the one to give me everything
Just when I thought no one cared
You're the answer to my prayer
You lift my spirits high
Come on and rescue me

You want it....

you got it people!

So first of all I'd like to say I LOVE my Fat Kid.....what other person would sign on and leave a message as Jessie Spano on my comments.

Like I said there's so much to tell.

The month of August was jammed PACKED full of stuff for me. So I don't bore you I'll give you the two major highlights of my summer!

First and most important, I got to see my brother for the first time in 16 years. Rich and I started communication thanks to the world wide web a few months back. When I found out that he was coming in for a visit I was SO excited and nervous all at the same time. If you have never experienced what it's like to have a blood relative out there in the world that you barely know anything about and finally after years you get to have some time to have a heart to heart....you'll feel your heart warm like you wouldn't believe. It's SO special.

And to top it off we took some girls I know out to Boy's Town for the first time. Good times....good times. But what happens in Boy's Town STAYS in Boy's Town :)

Then I got to go visit one of my favorite girls in the whole world...my Lizard. This girl is like my little sister I love her so much. (I love you too Beth don't worry)....She moved to New Orleans a few years ago so this was the frist chance I got to see her in a while. I spent 4 1/2 days with her and I could've just moved there I had SO much fun. I made the discovery that they make everything with 'Everclear' and not just a shot...quite a few shots... I was wondering why one daquiri made me buzzed :) I didn't want to go, but I had to come back to work. I know for sure it won't be so long between visits now though...

September has for the most part calmed down. My friend Alan came in this past week and I took a few days off to spend with him. I'm SO tired from going out now....I'm almost glad he went home when he did or I might have collased with exshaustion!

I'm still sick for those of you who are wondering. Insomnia is still in full effect...and this cough/cold/whatever the hell it is just won't go away! The doctor has me on antibotics now again, but I'm starting to get really depressed because of it. I can't run, the antibiocs have steroids in them so just when I was losing weight...I have to take a drug that makes me gain. YEAH!

So that's it for now. I'm going through some other stuff right now that's causing me some frustration, pain, migranes and tears....but it's not something I'm willing to share with the web just yet so I'm keeping it to myself for now.

Check ya later...

I also went to New Orleans

NO TIME.....There's never any time.....

Ok, classice Saved by the Bell for that title....


I have LOTS to tell, but no time right now...so watch for a major update from ME...very soon.

Blur....

That's exactly how I feel about this past weekend.....it was a blur.

I made peace with someone over the weekend I never really thought I'd make peace with. It was a door that finally closed in my life. It has been shut for a few years now, but not lacthed so to speak.

I needed to get some things out of my head. I needed this person to know I cared, but I didn't 'care' like that anymore. There's love, then there's LOVE. I love this person, I always will. But it just can't be like it was in the past. I took advantage a bit due to intoxication (ok so I was a little tipsy) but I'm sure they know that. Hell, it's been a while since we spoke so I thought, why not try and push some buttons, just to see if I still could. It worked, but I probably shouldn't have done it and I apologized.

I was dog sitting so I ended up alone at a friends (with the dogs anyway) . Contemplating a lot. I really loved this person, but I realized, I really love myself too. I like who I've become without them in my life. I've moved to a really good place in my life and I enjoy being here. I don't need anyone in my life to make that better or worse. No one completes me, but me. The other day a friend of mine said it best, 'you're much happier when your single, I like single Dawn better.' I have to agree with that. I've had enough drama in my life, now I'm doing really well about keeping by the sidelines for the most part.

I also realized I think this person really needs a friend, someone they can call when they just need to scream about something and they can get honest reactions with, or have a shoulder to cry on when everything seems to go wrong....I have many of those. I don't think they do. So I'm extending my hand to them in hopes they can accept it as just that. Friendship. I know words have been 'exchanged' in the past out of jealousy and anger....but we're grown ups and if you need me to be here for you I will ... but I'm not going to push so you know where to find me.

On a side note for those of you who knew about my crying fit with Big T last week. He still hasn't called like he said he would.....so basically as one door closed, another is left WIDE open. No drama this time, but a lot of emotion and raw feelings came out of that one. I ruined our friendship a long time ago when I cast him aside at the request of another, I suppose me crying in his car at 6am wasn't going to make it better overnight. Again I'll repeat ... I don't need him in my life, I just would really like him to be. I was myself with him more than I was with anyone and he appreciated me for it. Besides, who else brings me porn home from NY? You can't have more than one 'Porno Claus' in your life ... that would just be awkward. :)