AHHH....I see now....

I find it humorous. BUT it's really not. I finally found out why people have been somewhat whispering behind my back a little. I was confronted at work, then again on the phone later that night. Why you ask?.....People think Dayne is cheating on me.

Turns out not a lot of people know we actually broke up. And in turn a lot of people have seen the new girlfriend and Dayne together. They assumed he was cheating on me behind my back, they were PISSED!

Now not only have I not made our break up public knowledge, but I kept to myself the whole him dating someone else in the company....except for a select few. Frankly I didn't want to make it public knowlegde that I was heartbroken.

I have set the record straight with the people I talked to....yes Dayne broke up with me in January, and yes Dayne is now dating someone else in the company. (I don't know this as fact, but rumor has it they're living together too....but I kept that one to myself, I don't spread rumors.) Funny thing was....the people I talked to yesterday thought THAT was more funked up than him cheating on me. I myself laughed at that comment. Yeah, I felt that way too...but whatever at this point. I can't change nor am I an impact on the decisions he makes anymore. If he's happy, he's happy....I've got other shite to worry about!

One a completely different note. My financial aid appointment went ... OK. I didn't qualify for the grants I was hoping for (thank you republican party) But I did apply for a Sallie Mae loan I don't see a problem getting. I now have to talk to my boss about me returning to school. I'm looking to start soon and in order to do that I'll have to do morning classes ... like 5am to 9am. Then come to work by 9:30 (if not sooner) . It'll keep my nights free for studying and a mini social life. Cross my fingers she'll go for it.

AS PROMISED!!!

My conversation at the end of yesterday with David, TFK, Heather and I.

START FROM THE BOTTOM!!!!!!!!

----Original Message----
From: GTG Pick Pak

Ho-a beer, I need a beer, forTAY, ounces of the stuuuuufff, Me-not drunk, I know I'm straight,Fa, so fa much more to drink, SO-I can't stand on my own, HA-My jokes are so funny-G-you are my homie, and I need, a, noth, er beer

-----Original Message-----
From: Schumacher, Heather

And you know she was using..... NOBODY is that happy all the fricken time!

-----Original Message-----
From: Smith, Dawn

Those weren't the VonTrap Kids....those were straight up THUGS!

-----Original Message-----
From: GTG PickPack

cause Maria was a straight up gangsta-biotch

-----Original Message-----
From: Schumacher, Heather

I'm only wearing the pink helmet because I stole it off Dawn's head
I like making her cry by taunting her with her own pink helmet
window licker

-----Original Message-----
From: GTG PickPack

because the mother fuckin hills are alive

-----Original Message-----
From: Szyszka, David

question kivi, why is The Sound of Music your favorite movie?

So much stuff...so little time!

Who the heck decided the day could only be 24 hours! It's just not enough time to cram my life into it.

So far this week I've had something to do every night that I leave work. I'm damn tired.

Not like I'm about to make it better for myself by going back to school. But, I'm making a plan for the future. A REAL one. Unlike my fake plans for the future I made myself believe were going to happen for the last year. This one involves me and only me so no one can suddenly come in and take them away from me but me. (is that enough me's?) Can't complain about your life if your not going to get off your fat ass and do something about it.

Tonight I go to financial aid and write away my life. (well technically schools only 10 grand so not my whole life.) I should start school at the the beginning of May. I'm excited to start a new begining, bummed that my summer is pretty much going to suck! I just have to keep in mind this will bring me one step closer to marrying a doctor :)

After financial aid....I must grocery shop. No if's and's or but's about it. I HAVE to. My cupboards are bare as bare can be, not to mention I have stuff planned for Sunday so I won't be able to do it then either. Like I said...so many things so little time. Regardless of it all I have two things to look forward to. One...a good time this Sunday at the Wolves game with Heather and Kivi, and two next weekend off for the Cubbies home opener!

I may or may not get to go, due to the money situation....but I'll still take the weekend of rest for my Cubbies and at least watch it from my apartment with the windows open for the real life effect of being outside freezing with my team.

Lookie....Lookie!

Guess what I did.....

I changed up the blogie blog a bit. Added a hit counter, since I'm discovering more than just Kivi reads this thing....it's pretty. I like it ;)

I figure if I'm not going to major in design...I might as well get it out of my system somewhere.

I FRICKIN ROCK!!!

Ok, so I thought I did well on this evaluation test yesterday when I was told I only missed 5 out of like 200 (give or take) questions which in they're grading scale was a 91. But then I was called by my admissions counselor today to let me know I got one of the top scores EVER! You see the grade isn't out of 100 (since they cross out a bunch of questions on the test). It's out of a possible highest of 95.

So I rock the hizzy ladies and gentlemen. To think I was actually kinda nervous considering the fact I haven't been in school in almost 10 years. There was to be no use of calculators and I haven't figured percentages or done division with decimals without a ten key since I was in Jr. High.

Who's smart? I'm DAMN smart! :)

First of all lets talk about my birthday......

I took the day off...YEAH ME!....But I'm paying for it in the pocket book right now. Needless to say I think I deserve a day off once in a while so I took it. I spent the day shopping for a few do dads for myself. BELIEVE IT OR NOT I DID NOT BUY ANY SHOES!!

I did go over by the shoes....I did TRY ON shoes....I did not buy any. For anyone who knows me should know that's a pretty big feat for me to get through.

Anyway, I went home relaxed a bit and then prettied myself up for my birthday dinner. Tony came down from Chi-town and took me to Tuscany for dinner for my birthday. During our after dinner drink in the bar we started to watch the Illini game and before the first half was a quarter over we decided we should probably go back to my place to watch the rest considering Tony was rooting for Arizona. Good plan....

Within minutes of us getting back to my place Kivi Steve and Phil came over. Fat Kid brought the 'Grandma's Bar' shot glass for my collection...because he's a whore, but he did buy me a Blue Moon sign for my bar, so I can't complain too much. For a while it looked like just the five of us were going to be chillin' but by 8:30 Holly came and when the game was over Dan, D'Avis, and CarlMike (Kike or Marl) trickled in. Martinis were made, shots were poured, drinks were mixed....and drunkenness occurred (well, at least it did with me). Knowing I had to get up in the morning to meet the family for brunch was no match for how quickly I seemed to be drinking the Raspberry Stoli! Everything went well....until I called Holly a ditzy and she left in a tissy.

Party was over by 1ish....Dan and I went to bed, he laughed at me all morning when I had to get up and go to Wisconsin for brunch.

Brunch wasn't bad...actually the food was good. Would've been better had I not been hung over. But those are the breaks when your birthday falls the day before a holiday. I ended up snatching the bill...I don't make a lot of money, but I sponge off my family ALL the time so I wanted to pay. My brother had a pitch fit, but screw him. I left Wisconsin earlier than I usually would, due in part that my apartment was a disaster! So cleaning needed to be done.

Now the apartment in back in a somewhat of an order, and now I'm figuring out how to get my life that way. I did go visit and apply for college last night. Another good reason why it's a good thing Dayne and I broke up. He would have NEVER supported this. 4 days a week 6 to 11pm...then work Friday and Saturday nights....for 8 months, yeah right. It wouldn't have happened. But since I'm not in a relationship, and I have no one to please but me....I'm going for it. Admissions wanted me to start next week, but with commitments I've already made...I don't think that'll be possible. So May it is.

I think I'll look cute in scrubs :)

Damn that's a long post......thanks for the birthday wishes by the way to everyone that was kind enough to wish them....nice of you to think of me. For those of you who didn't, I'm sure it just slipped you mind, either that or you were just being jerks.....

So another year has come and gone.....and I'm another year older.

Do I sound thrilled....cause really I'm not. Not like 27 is some big mile stone birthday or anything, but I just keep thinking how much closer to 30 I'm actually getting. Thanks Fattie for reminding me EVERYDAY!

So far in my 27 years, I really haven't accomplished anything, besides a series of broken relationships and a string of dead end jobs. And that's sad. I'm looking to turn over a new leaf. I want to get out of this job....one because my job isn't very satisfying and two because it harbors a lot of memories I'd rather not fester into on a DAILY basis. But I don't want to move on to ANOTHER job I'm just going to end up hating as much...but just without the personal drama. So what to do?! Well I decided to look into a few vocational schools to see about getting a real career. Actually I'm going to talk to one tonight.

You see...I actually want to DO something with my life. I want to be happy with myself, I want a job that feels rewarding. And frankly sitting on my ass and saying I want to do something about it isn't getting me anywhere. Granted I have a feeling I'm going to put myself in some MORE debt, but hell...in the long run it'll be worth it right? Cross your fingers I don't chicken out on this one like I do with EVERYTHING else in my life.

Quite frankly I'm just sick of working two jobs and getting NOWHERE!